In this love month, not everyone has their someone special to share Valentine’s Day with. Ironically, the love month is also a season for those who want to let go of the ghost of their past relationships behind, and some are just beginning the process of realization of a failed relationship. But when can you call a relationship a failure? A lot of people say that being in a relationship shouldn’t be a considered a regret, no matter how badly it ended because at least you learned some important lessons life has to offer. I agree. Breakups are normal and it happens even to the best of us, so why are there still people who are shocked to the core and cannot deal with breakups positively?

The trick is to prepare yourself from any kind of emotional damage you might undergo by analyzing your relationship, so that when the time comes that both of you are already not happy in the relationship, both of you will be spared some of the heartache. I know it’s not easy to realize and accept that your relationship is failing and going nowhere, but we have to accept it eventually. Below are some of the questions you might ask yourself about breakups so that you will be informed and guided in your own relationship.

1.What are the most common reasons for a breakup?

There are a lot of reasons why people break up, but I’ve noticed that most of them, if not all, stem out from three major causes couples experience in the course of their relationship. The major causes are about personal differences, different priorities in life, and the probably the greatest reason, the unforgivable sin: cheating. Everyone eventually grows up, and sometimes growing up means outgrowing the person you’re with. Sad, but it happens. Evaluate your problem and see if you’re experiencing one or some of these. If you are, it may be time to have a long talk with your partner.

2.How can I detect early signs of a major problem?

Usually, people who are in love are indifferent of each other’s faults, especially in the first few months of their relationship. This is fine if you really understand your partner. But if you find yourself just ignoring her faults and hoping it would eventually go away, then you have a problem. In most cases, the little problems that kept being ignored are the ones that sooner or later cause the breakup.

3.How can we save our relationship from a breakup?

If you’re really serious with your relationship, then you have to talk things over with your partner, and clear any misunderstandings, no matter how small, immediately. Constant communication and understanding are the keys to a healthy relationship. If your partner is already angry, then it’s better if you let her blow her steam first and wait until she’s calm and you can talk with her properly. There’s no use aggravating the situation if you also get irritated. If you do that, you’re surely heading for the downfall of your relationship.

4.How can I break it off with her gently if I want out of the relationship?

If you realized after talking with her that you’re both better off without each other, you have to make her understand your reasons in arriving at such point. Women are naturally very emotional. Sometimes even if you give them the most logical reasons for wanting to break up, they still wouldn’t understand you and still think either you’re just being a jerk or something’s very wrong with them. In this case, you have to work through her emotions and make her feel like she’s going to benefit the most from breaking up with you, even if you don’t think it’s entirely true. The last thing you want to do with your partner is break up with her and blame her while doing it. You still owe her your respect.

I’m not being a cynic during the most romantic season of the year, but I’m just being realistic. My heart goes to all those who are single this time of year. There are still tons of reason to be happy anyway, right?